Whenever I take those online personality/characteristic/values tests the term “free-spirit” always bubbles up to the top of my list.  Free spirit has been defined as ‘an independent or uninhibited person.’  In my mind, I’m half-way there. My existential crisis always circles around my need for freedom above all – however, real life seems to fight me every step of the way. Talk about internal turmoil.

Living a free-spirited life is not as easy as it sounds. I have come close to this state several times in my life: as a young child lost in my imaginary Barbie world and not caring if she was stylish or even married; as a teen, quietly rebelling against anything that seemed too normal or accepted by the popular crowd; now as an older woman, seeing the world through eyes that have seen a lot and knowing that much of it is just cultural bullshit.

At age 63, I live a relatively “conventional” life. At least I think I do, who really knows? When I’m working in my art studio, is my creativity simply reflecting the unrelenting culture insisting on some level of conformity?

One thing I know for sure (Oprah’s phrase, of course), my internal life is free, always free. Anything less could lead to another bout of a black night of the soul. Not fun, but eye-opening freedom always ensues.